Core Values of Successful People

Core Values of Successful People : Major(R)Khalid Nasr
Here are four core values of successful people that guarantee your success: 1.They are honest:The successful people are not dishonest.Neither are they corner-cutters .When you are confident of yourself and know that the best will turn out, you have no problem telling the truth at all times.This brings you to a place where people know the real you. It allows them to follow you with assurance. It strengthens relationships, upon which your success rests. Make a commitment to being honest and you make a commitment to your own success. 2.They are givers,not takers: The successful people have achieved extraordinarily.This includes world records, spiritual abundance, and material wealth. But they didn’t set out to go and get it at all costs.Instead, they set their minds and wills upon serving others the best they could.They realized one of the most universal principles in the world: you reap what you sow.They know that when the give to others, others give back.The reverse is true as well. When you take from others,they try to keep what you are trying to take.Make a commitment to being a giver and not a taker, and you are making a commitment to your own success. 3.They are hard workers: Very few people become successful without hard work.We desire success without work, but history shows that the people who achieve the most success have as a core value the desire to work hard.They work hard because they believe in hard work as an ethic and value.They know and appreciate that hard work produces character in them,excellence in their product,and satisfaction for those who benefit from their work.So they operate out of the value of hard work. Make a commitment to hard work and you make a commitment to your own success. 4.They do what is right:Successful people are people with a core, people with a rod of strength and integrity that runs right through them. It causes them to see that this world of ours needs people who will do what is right, play by the rules, fight for what is true . Make a commitment to doing what is right, and you make a commitment to your own success.

In Persuit of Happiness

In Persuit of Happiness : Major(R)Khalid Nasr
Happiness is the pursuit of many of us.In fact, we live for life,liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’But so many seem without happiness. Why is this? It is my contention that happiness is yours for the taking. That is, anyone can be happy if the choose to be… and if they know how to get it. So what does it take to bring us to a state of happiness? Here are a few thoughts to get you on your way: 1.Do not try to control circumstances:One of the biggest “happiness busters” I see is in the frustration people experience because circumstances have gone beyond their control. This is because their mind-set is that they should be somehow able to control circumstances. But let’s get this straight: You can’t! So the first thing you can do to give yourself happiness is to stop trying to control, or taking responsibility for circumstances that are outside of your control! 2.Understand that you can only control yourself:There is only one thing you can control in this world and that is yourself. You can’t control the weather,your kids or spouse, or anything for that matter outside of your own beliefs, thoughts, attitudes and actions. Focus all of your attention on developing yourself and doing what is right – controlling yourself while letting what will happen, happen – and you will find happiness opening up within you. 3.Decide what it is that you want out of life and then stick to it relentlessly:This is two parts: First, know what you want. Get real clear with yourself. Take a private retreat to be alone if you have to, but come to grips with what you want your life to look like. Secondly, devote yourself to that passion and do not be sidetracked. It is interesting to me how many options we have – good options – that if we pursue them they will actually crush our happiness because they will take us away from what will really make us happy. 4.Live for a legacy:We cannot be self-absorbed and live only for ourselves. Yes, we only control ourselves, but we can live for the betterment of others. Live your life in such a way that others are touched and you will find yourself feeling happiness in ways that you could never imagine. 5.Settle your finances:Whatever your financial goals are, get them! Having poor finances is one of the major causes of unhappiness. Now, some people are completely content on Rs30,0000 a year. Others need Rs200,0000 a year. That is okay. We all have different desires, needs, and goals. But the key is to know what you want your financial life to look like and then do what it takes to get there. Among the major things to do is to eliminate as much debt as possible, if not all! 6.Surround yourself with good friends:Good friend are such a blessing! I have some of the most intelligent, capable, successful, and caring friends a person could have. I have five or four people in my life that I completely trust and admire. When friendships are clicking, there is almost nothing that provides more happiness. Take time to develop your friendships. 7.Develop your primary love relationship:Marriage will show you both heaven and hell! Marriage, when it is going well will send you out the door each morning on cloud nine. When it isn’t going well, it affects every area of your life negatively. Do whatever you can – work hard – at developing your primary love relationship. The rewards of happiness you reap will be tremendios.Happiness is yours for the taking and you can develop your life in such a way as to be able to experience all of the happiness you can handle.

Essentials of Success

Ingredients of Success : Major(R)Khalid Nasr
There are four core(KORE) elements of success: 1.Knowledge:Before one begins down the road of success,he needs knowledge. 2.Opprtunity:Success happents when our capabilities meet an opportunity.3.Risk:Many times taking advantage of opportunities requires risk. 4.Excellence:Businesses, organizations, and people who succeed are the ones who operate from a base of excellence. 1.KNOWLEDGE : The starting point in the elements of success is Knowledge. This is becoming increasingly important as we continue deeper into the information and technology age. There simply is no turning back now. Even jobs that used to take very little knowledge require some because of automation etc. So here are some thoughts on ways to increase your knowledge and become more successful: a. Become a self-learner. Successful people love learning. Reading is one of the most enjoyable ways to learn more. b.Job-specific training. I think everybody, regardless of his or her level in the organization, should be continually trained in their job. c. Advanced education. Increasing you knowledge will not only help you perform better on the job, it will help you become a better person. 2.OPPORTUNITY: The successful people who I have met and worked with are people who have an eye for opportunity. Is that something they are born with? Absolutely not! If anything, being able to see opportunity is an attitude. Yes, wisdom is an important part, but if you believe there is nothing good under the sun, that there is no opportunity, then you won’t achieve much. Instead, it is an attitude that does not see any circumstance as a problem, but sees it as, you guessed it, an opportunity. A great achiever said, “There is never a money problem, only an idea problem.” He saw opportunity, not a lack of funds, and he simply needed to find the way to take advantage of the opportunity! So where do you begin? Can you, with your strengths, meet any of the needs of the population you are trying to reach or serve? Their needs are your opportunities! What is currently working? This is the “ride the wave” point. Take advantage of momentum. Don’t settle for the good that you are experiencing. Ask if you can stretch further. Don’t look at what ought to be successful, but go further with what is successful! 3.RISK : It is true that many people who have knowledge and the opportunity to see success, never do, simply because they are unwilling to take risks. Most successful people achieve what they do because somewhere along the line they stepped out in faith and took a risk. Yes, many fail at this point, but at least they attempted greatness. And while many fail, many succeed tremendously and receive the reward, often helping many others as well. Here are some thoughts to help you take risks and see great achievement in your life. Count the cost of not risking. Most of us think of what we might lose if we risk, but what will we lose if we don’t risk? Realistically understand the worst case scenario. It usually isn’t nearly as bad as we might assume, making it all the more worthwhile to risk. Most risks don’t end up at the worst. Calculate your risk. Since the risk isn’t as much as we usually think it is, it helps to lie out the strategy beforehand. Then you know what you’re up against and have a plan of action.Prepare fully. What most often keeps us from risk is fear. One of the best ways to fight fear is to be fully prepared. This helps our minds to be rooted in fact rather than swayed by emotion. 4.EXCELLENCE: Most people, if they have the drive and know where to look, can get knowledge. Everyone can take advantage of opportunity. A select few, relatively speaking, will take the risk needed to launch out to succeed. But what really sets the successful apart from the unsuccessful, or even just the average, is excellence. So what are some ideas to have excellence be you shining mark? Here are a few: First, cultivate an attitude of excellence. Excellence must be your stated goal. Everyone in your business, school, or organization should know that excellence is the benchmark. You should desire it.Second, define excellence. What does excellence look like for you or your group? This then, is the goal. Here are some areas to begin looking at: My personal life. Do I strive for excellence in my personal life? Do I know what areas I can improve upon, and do I try to achieve excellence in those areas? What about these specific areas: Financial, spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual? Customer service. Excellence is defined here not in how we think we are doing, but in how the customer thinks we are doing. Have you asked lately how you are doing in this area? Ask for suggestions on how to excel. Then you can work on achieving it. Employee satisfaction. You will more likely achieve excellence if you have deeply satisfied employees. How can you make it an excellent place to work Product. Is your product excellent? Is your whole line? Perhaps you may want to sell fewer, but much better, items. It’s great to be associated with excellent products. Atmosphere. What does your home, store or office look, sound, and smell like? Is it a help or hindrance? I encourage you to brainstorm with your family or staff. The results could be excellence!

Tips for Driving Your Life in Top Gear

Tips for Driving Your Life in Top Gear : Major(R)Khalid Nasr
Your life doesn’t have to be stale and full of drudgery. Your life can be lived at the highest levels, experiencing joy in every area. Here are my top pointers for kicking your life into high gear so you can get moving on the fast track to success. Secret Key: Success isn’t just doing certain things, though we will certainly do certain things to become a certain kind of person. What kind of person you are is what determines your success in life. Here are my four tips: 1.Become a person of Vision:The best way to kick your life into high gear and begin to succeed in what you want to succeed in is to begin to become a person of vision.The successful person has a fully developed vision of their destination. It is not enough to have a vision of where you are going, but is your vision fully developed? Now certainly we cannot know everything that will happen to us in the future, but we can develop the plan fully, allowing in our plan for a variety of contingency plans.
2.Become a person of Passion:Passion is the burning of the heart.It is the overwhelming desire to accomplish your goal. It transcends the mental assent to a set of ideals. It drives and thrusts you toward your goal.The truths of the mind are driven by the passion of the heart. So by all means, fuel the passion for life that resides deep within your soul. Passion is like a fire. It can rage or it can smolder. 3.Become a person of Priorities:The people who achieve much and have lives that are constantly in high gear are people with an extraordinary ability to know what the right thing to do is and to actually do it in a timely fashion.Discern what the important things are that you must involve yourself in so as to have the life you want. Then relentlessly live out of those priorities. 4.Become a person of Excellence:People who live life in high gear, succeeding in every area of life, are people who place a high emphasis on and strive for excellence in every area of life. Good just won’t do. The best is the target.

Art is long & time is short.

Have we ever realised that benfits of scientific advancement we are reaping tody, are attributable to hardwork of generations spreading over centuries. Doesn't it remind one of the lod parable when a child asks his grandfather as to why his grandfather is planting a mango tree; when he knows pretty well that he is much too old to see mangoes growing. To this the Grandfather replied that he had ben enjoying the mangoes planted by his grandfather; and how would his grandchildren eat the mangoes if the tree were not planted by him without showing any selfishness to tasting the mangoes himself. Similarly all inventions including the wheel, the first & the biggest revolution in humna existence, were made by our forefathers for the benefit of their coming generations. This is true of bullock cart, stem engine, locomotives, buses , and the aircrafts.

Harnessing the water (hydraulic) power, controlling wind for driving turbines, solar energy, the gobar gas & the rest fall in this category. While availing this facility, we are seldom mindful of the fact that we got these benefits by the toil & trouble of so many generations including our own. Today when Computer has revolutionised Information Technology, we can hardly project ourselves into future for foretelling as to what is in store for us in the times to come. Quantum Physics has presented some basic concepts for the conquest of Time & Space through observations like Philadelphia experiment and we are also aware of the existence of Bermuda Triangle; but we have no alternative excepting leaving the unfinished tasks for the future. Knowledge is nothing buyt a continuous curiosity & spirit of enquiry to find out as to what is happening around us.

It has also been said & said aptly, that the best possible study to be undertaken is the study of Human Nature; and amongst other things our interdisciplinary approach takes us to the field of Humana resources for evolving concepts found useful in the study of HRM and Management. the process involves continuous observation over a span of time, their analysis, application in a given context, and finally the ultimate end of drawing inferences for future application till the original hypothesis is found incorrect or proved wrong by the circumstances. This amounts to a life of useful hardwork based on continuous thinking & burning one's midnight oil for the benefit of the generations to come.

One significant factor in the event of defeat, the researcher ought to know that human nature is averse to dictation by any external source. The real task for an innovator is to find out how best to put things across for acceptance with the least possible resistance. In other words, it is an exercise for selling an idea. So Godspeed.................................
Jameel Zaidi

Principles Governing Our Life

Life Governing Principles Major(R)Khalid Nasr What we do is driven by who we are, what we believe & value and by the principles that we live by.Principles give us direction to live our lives. The Principles Governing My Life are : 1.God first, others second, me third :I recognize that I must have my priorities right. Some people think that the way to success is to put themselves first. This is short-term thinking. Yes, you may be able to accomplish much in the near-term, but long-term, the best is accomplished by those who live by the above. 2.Always be completely honest:You really only have your character when it comes right down to it, and honesty is the quickest way to determine your character. Live in such a way that you can be completely honest and be willing to accept the responsibility that being completely honest will bring. 3.You reap what you sow:This is the most common truth on earth. You put an apple seed into the ground, you get an apple tree. An orange seed produces an orange tree. If you invest, your money will grow.Things are great to have and so is money, but true riches are the priceless things we can’t buy, like our family, our integrity and the sense of a job well done. 4.Work smart – and hard:Some say you should work smart, not hard. I say work smart and hard. A good day of hard work is a blessing and ought to be appreciated. Hard work is what changes the world – as long as it is smart, hard work! 5.Fulfill Your Commitments :If there is one thing I can’t stand it is when someone doesn’t do what they say they will. When we don’t do what we say we will, we essentially say that the job wasn’t important, the people we promised it to aren’t important, and that we can’t be trusted. This is a good way to short-circuit your success. 6.Challenge others to greatness:There are enough people who will hold out the low bar for people to step over. I want to be a person who holds up the high bar, causing people to have to run and jump with all their might, and when they clear that high bar, I want to be there celebrating with them! 7.Find ways to generously give of your resources:The old saying is true – you can’t take it with you. But you can spread it around to lots of people while you are here. If we wait until we die to give money away, we don’t get any satisfaction in seeing how it is used and enjoyed. Write a few good-sized checks each month! 8.Treat people right no matter how they treat you:You cannot control another person’s behavior. It took me a long time to realize that. I can only control my behavior. And I can choose to do what is right no matter how another person treats me. If everybody retaliated every time someone treated them bad, we would have a mess on our hands. Instead, choose to act appropriately at all times. When relationships go bad, be the first to hold out the olive branch. Life is too short to leave a relationship broken. As much as it is up to me, I will pursue reconciliation, for their sake, and for mine. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and wish I tried harder in my relationships. For this reason I attempt to restore broken relationships. 9.Regularly try new things:This is what keeps the spice of life going! Try new foods, go to new places, and make new friends. You will be amazed at the joy you receive and are able to give when you make it a habit to try new things. Break out of the mold, do something unusual today! Treat everyone equally. No one is better than anyone else. I know people with tens of millions of dollars and people who do not have two nickels to rub together. They are both equally valuable and worthy of being treated as such. Don’t fall into the trap of treating some people better than others. It doesn’t matter what color they are or how much money the have or what country they come from, treat them with the respect and dignity each human deserves. Use any success you have to help others. What good is success that only helps you? Instead, use the money you make to help others. Use the connections you make to help someone else up. Use the knowledge you achieve to give someone else a leg up. Take what you have and give to others so that they may join you on the journey of success. 10.Look down the economic scale more often than up:When I look up the economic scale too often I become greedy and unsatisfied. I become selfish. Looking down at others who have less than me on a regular basis keeps me humble. It reminds me of all of the blessings I have and keeps me thankful for them.

Our Knowlede Controls Our Thinking

Our Knowledge Controls Our Thinking:Major(R)Khalid Nasr
Our thinking process is controlled by our knowledge.Wisdom without knowledge is baseless and knowledge without wisdom is dangerous.Albert Einstein once said that problems cannot be solved by the same consciousness that created them. Knowledge is the greatest resource in life. You can only think with what you know. The more you know, the better resources for thought and problem solving that are at your disposal. If you know little your world of operation, function and strategy is also seriously limited. To expand your life and grow you need to extend your thinking and your world-view. Every day is always another opportunity to get to know more and be more. Seek for ways to learn more, understand more and be more. Knowledge is the raw material of wisdom. You can have knowledge without wisdom but you cannot have wisdom without knowledge. Without knowledge you cannot operate in wisdom. Knowledge determines faith. Right knowledge strengthens faith and wrong knowledge weakens faith.Knowledge is not only in the books. Folk wisdom is also a source of knowledge.Knowledge must be shared ,it increases when we share it.To know is to be closer to God.

Quotations on Happiness

Happiness Quotes :Major(R)Khalid Nasr


Abd Er-Rahman III of Spain:
I have now reigned about 50 years in victory or peace, beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to fourteen.


(960 C.E.)



Albert Camus:
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.



Albert Camus:
When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him; and you are torn by the thought of the unhappiness and night you cast, by the mere fact of living, in the hearts you encounter.



Albert Schweitzer:
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.



Albert Schweitzer:
I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.



Albert Schweitzer:
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.



Algernon Black:
Why not let people differ about their answers to the great mysteries of the Universe? Let each seek one's own way to the highest, to one's own sense of supreme loyalty in life, one's ideal of life. Let each philosophy, each world-view bring forth its truth and beauty to a larger perspective, that people may grow in vision, stature and dedication.


This entry continued ...

Allan K. Chalmers:
The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.



Amy Lowell:
Happiness: We rarely feel it.
I would buy it, beg it, steal it,
Pay in coins of dripping blood
For this one transcendent good.



Anne Frank:
We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.



Anne Frank:
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.



Aristotle:
Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient



Benjamin Disraeli:
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.



Bertrand Russell:
The happiness that is genuinely satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.



Buddha:
Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.



Carl Jung:
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.



Claude Monet:
The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration.



Denis Waitley:
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.



Edith Wharton:
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.



Edward de Bono:
Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.



Ella Wheeler Wilcox:
The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind.



Eric Hoffer:
You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy.



Felix Adler:
The truth which has made us free will in the end make us glad also.



Fran Leibowitz:
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.



Francoise de Motteville:
The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure.



Franklin D. Roosevelt:
Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.



George Burns:
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.



George Sand:
There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.



HH the Dalai Lama:
When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.



HH the Dalai Lama:
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.



HH the Dalai Lama:
Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.




Helen Keller:
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.



Helen Keller:
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.



Helen Keller:
Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.



Henry David Thoreau:
That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.



Henry David Thoreau:
The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?



Horace Friess:
All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.



Hubert H. Humphrey:
Here we are the way politics ought to be in America; the politics of happiness, the politics of purpose and the politics of joy.



James M. Barrie:
Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.



James Oppenheim:
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.



John Barrymore:
Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.



John D. Rockefeller:
I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.



John Milton:
The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.



Kin Hubbard:
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty an' wealth have both failed.



Leo Buscaglia:
What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.



Ludwig Wittgenstein:
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.



M. Scott Peck:
The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.



Marcel Proust:
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.



Margaret Bonnano:
It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis.



Mark Twain:
Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.



Mark Twain:
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.



Mark Twain:
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.



Mark Twain:
Happiness is a Swedish sunset -- it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.



Mark Twain:
The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.



Martha Washington:
The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.



Mohandas K. Gandhi:
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.



Nathaniel Hawthorne:
Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.



Norman MacEwan:
Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.



Oliver Wendell Holmes:
The world has to learn that the actual pleasure derived from material things is of rather low quality on the whole and less even in quantity than it looks to those who have not tried it.



Pearl S. Buck:
Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.



Peyton Conway March:
There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else.



Ralph Waldo Emerson:
To fill the hour -- that is happiness.



Ramona L. Anderson:
People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.



Robert Heinlein:
Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.



Robert Louis Stevenson:
There is no duty we so underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.



Sophocles:
Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.



Susan B. Anthony:
Independence is happiness.



Theodor Fontane:
Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, and second -- and best -- in comfortably going through everyday life, that is, having had a good night's sleep and not being hurt by new shoes.



Thich Nhat Hanh:
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.



Thomas Jefferson:
The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.



Thomas Jefferson:
But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.



W. Beran Wolfe:
If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator.



Willa Cather:
That is happiness; to be dissolved into something completely great.

Tips For Handling Difficult People

Tips for Handling Difficult People:Major(R)Khalid Nasr


Friendly, welcoming, and good communicators are great people to converse with. They are emotionally uplifting. If you have a problem with them, it is easily worked through. Unfortunately, the world isn’t filled with great communicators; it is more dominated by difficult people. Dealing with difficult people is a must to be happy and successful in your career, family, and social life.

Here are list of tips for dealing with difficult people to transform their attitude and prevent them from infecting your attitude with their difficulty:

1.Rights and Responsibility

It’s important to distinguish between rights and responsibilities when dealing with difficult people. Sometimes we feel obliged to work through difficult problems, solve people’s personality problems, or develop solutions beyond our capabilities. Other times we unnecessarily forgo our rights letting the difficult person trample over what they have no right to ruin.

Rights

Rights typically define the actions that you and the difficult person need to follow. The rights are usually based on laws and rules. A list of rights include:
Law – Any unlawful problems such as physical abuse or sexual harassment should never have to be accepted. Let the law solve these illegal problems.
Rules – There can be rules in a family, amongst friends, or at a social venue. Rules are often implied rather than explicitly stated. People are usually aware of rules, but when dealing with a difficult person, it may help to mention the rules as not everyone will be aware of them. Generally, people know that you shouldn’t shout in a public building. There are no signs which tell us this, yet most people should be aware of this rule. Making the difficult person aware of the rule – in a friendly and non-overbearing manner – may be enough to solve the problem. Responsibility Responsibilities “go the extra mile” to rights. Unlike rights, you don’t need to fulfill your responsibility. Responsibilities are optional, but highly recommended if you want to successfully handle the situation. The folllowing responsibilities should provide you with concepts and a framework in handling the situation:

Do not reciprocate the difficulties the person is giving. Treating them with respect is an important tip to deal with difficult people and is your responsibility. Once you prevent yourself from stooping low and reciprocating the bad behavior, you will feel proud, empowered, and in control of your life – regardless of whether you successfully handle the situation.
Listen to the difficult person and let them express their point of view. It will help you understand more about why they are difficult. This tip alone can be enough to deal with the person as you allow the person to let off some steam. Listening honestly, actively, and empathically will make the person feel understood and bridge the interpersonal gap between the two of you. You gain little or zero information about the situation by talking.
Extroverts and introverts need to be handled differently. Encourage extroverts to talk while you listen to them. Your focus with introverts is to get them opening up.
Remain focused on the problem and not the person. Difficult people have a difficult problem and are trying to fulfill their need in the only means they know possible. Disassociate the problem from the person is a great tip for dealing with a difficult person.
Difficult people have an unmet need. Whether somebody is angry, unhappy, depressed, loud, or anxious, they are trying to fulfill a need. The Nonviolent Communication Process is a great technique that gets you focused on other people’s needs as well as your own.
You don’t need to solve all problems by yourself. It sounds simple, but talking to a parent, manager, or human resource department, is very powerful. Other people will bring knowledge, skills, and more persuasive power in handling a difficult person. However, you do need to be beware of making a private problem public. It’s your responsibility to respect the other person’s privacy concerns, but at the same time you need to request another’s help when necessary.
2.Stop Becoming a Victim

It is a vital to stop feeling victimized by a difficult person’s behavior. Blaming them for making you feel miserable is only damaging to you and will not assist you in solving the problem. You give people access to your emotions. Eliminating blame allows you to free yourself from the person’s difficult behavior. The great Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nothing external to you has any power over you.”
Take responsibility for how you feel, stop blaming, and remind yourself that the person’s difficulty is their problem. Eliminate the feeling of being burdened by people’s problems. You’ll work towards a solution faster and it’ll be less emotionally exasperating when losing your victim mentality.

3.Being Apart of the Problem

A discussion on dealing with difficult people usually has a focus on the difficult people… However, more often than not, we play a role in their behavior.A discussion on dealing with difficult people usually has a focus on the difficult people. That’s understandable seeing that “they are the problem.” However, more often than not we play a role in a difficult person’s behavior.
If the person isn’t difficult to everyone, then you could be contributing to the problem. Find out why they are behaving the way they are towards you. What do other people do that you aren’t doing? What do other people not do that you are doing?

The person could be an extrovert and treats you poorly because you are an introvert. Maybe the person is angry at you about an event that took place the other day. There are thousands of possible reasons that you can discover by following the responsibilities mentioned above. Identify the person’s unmet need and empathically listen.
Take responsibility and look at your weaknesses, mistakes, and improve on them. Practice the Japanese principle of Kaizen where you make small continual improvements for an overall large change. You could be tipping fuel over the fire and removing your contribution to the problem will reduce the person’s difficult attitude.

4.Keep an Open Mind

When we see someone in a negative spotlight it can take a while to shift that negative understanding into a positive spotlight – even when the person has not been difficult for sometime. Being forgiving by keeping an open mind as to why they are being difficult is a great tip. It prevents you from jumping to conclusions and portraying the problem as the person’s difficulty.

Having an open mind that allows for the other person’s point of view and possible explanations for their behavior creates a “cushion” by preventing you from being overly harsh. You give the person some slack instead of abruptly judging.

5.Control Criticism

Feeling burdened by someone can unleash the damaging communication barrier of criticism. Criticizing people does not work towards conflict resolution. It works against resolving conflict and often intensifies the problem. People feel diminished, unworthy, and less important when criticized.

6.Behavioral Conditioning

Condition the difficult person’s behavior by rewarding the good and punishing/ignoring the bad. Let’s say you have a manager who is rude to you and other people. What you can do is let the other people know together it is possible to eliminate the difficult person’s behavior. Each time the manager compliments, encourages, or says something positive, you can condition the manager to continually give positive feedback when it is due. Saying “thank you” and directly appreciating the positive feedback by saying “I much appreciate it when you give me good feedback” conditions the manager to give more emphasis on positivity.

On the other side, when the manager yells or does other something you dislike, you can ignore the behavior or directly address the issue to the manager by stating you do not like the behavior. Referring back to your responsibilities, you still need to actively listen, seek to understand your manager, and not become overbearing. In fact, it is even more important to actively listen in such cases. Be specific by mentioning the exact behavior and its effects on you. Behavioral conditioning rarely changes the behavior overnight,however, keep conditioning the person’s behavior, and you will soon see a change.

7.Walking Away

If all the above tips have failed it is probably best to walk away and leave the difficult issue for a later time. You are not giving up on resolving the conflict or ignoring future problems, because you are recognizing that you haven’t been able to deal with the difficult person at the present time. Another day can bring different possibilities. Emotions, thoughts, and attitudes change all the time and having some downtime is often beneficial for healthy communication. Giving the two of you some space gives both of you time to think the problems through and cool down your emotions.

Unsuccessfully resolving conflict or an issue you have with a difficult person can often escalate the problem at hand.Difficult people are everywhere so you can probably begin using these tips today!


Comments by Jamil Zaidi:
Practical approach based over experience of ages emanating from the field of psychology applied in the segmental context of a team, should be giving positive results. The writer has a broad vision in perceiving inter-personal problems, especially those falling in the realm of rights & obligations, rightfully pointing out that the ticklish ones ( which are difficult to resolve) should be deferred for a latter occasion & the decision-maker would be well-advised to sleep over them for the night. Apart from it, the writer has gone for a very broad skylinein indicating those problems ; simultaneously presenting an equally wide managemental horizon for taking care of them.

BUILDING OUR CHARACTER

Six Pillars of Character:Major(R)KhalidNasr
We had been hearing since our child hood that when character is lost, every thing is lost.It is all the more reason that we must focus on individual & national character building.Individuals make a nation.We can focus on individuals and make our national character.The six pillars of character are :
1.Trustworthiness 2.Respect 3.Responsibility 4. Fairness 5.Caring 6.Citizenship

These six pillars of character are ethical values to guide our choices. The standards of conduct that arise out of those values constitute the ground rules of ethics, and therefore of ethical decision-making.

Six Pillars of Character

1.Trustworthiness
Be honest • Don’t deceive, cheat or steal • Be reliable — do what you say you’ll do • Have the courage to do the right thing • Build a good reputation • Be loyal — stand by your family, friends and country.
a.Honesty
There is no more fundamental ethical value than honesty. We associate honesty with people of honor, and we admire and rely on those who are honest. But honesty is a broader concept than many may realize. It involves both communications and conduct.
Honesty in communications is expressing the truth as best we know it and not conveying it in a way likely to mislead or deceive. There are three dimensions:
(a)Truthfulness. Truthfulness is presenting the facts to the best of our knowledge. Intent is the crucial distinction between truthfulness and truth itself. Being wrong is not the same thing as lying, although honest mistakes can still damage trust insofar as they may show sloppy judgment.
(b)Sincerity. Sincerity is genuineness, being without trickery or duplicity. It precludes all acts, including half-truths, out-of-context statements, and even silence, that are intended to create beliefs or leave impressions that are untrue or misleading.
(c)Candor. In relationships involving legitimate expectations of trust, honesty may also require candor, forthrightness and frankness, imposing the obligation to volunteer information that another person needs to know.
Honesty in conduct is playing by the rules, without stealing, cheating, fraud, subterfuge and other trickery. Cheating is a particularly foul form of dishonesty because one not only seeks to deceive but to take advantage of those who are not cheating. It’s a two-far: a violation of both trust and fairness.

b.Integrity
The word integrity comes from the same Latin root as "integer," or whole number. Like a whole number, a person of integrity is undivided and complete. This means that the ethical person acts according to her beliefs, not according to expediency. She is also consistent. There is no difference in the way she makes decisions from situation to situation, her principles don’t vary at work or at home, in public or alone.

c.Reliability (Promise-Keeping)
When we make promises or other commitments that create a legitimate basis for another person to rely upon us, we undertake special moral duties. We accept the responsibility of making all reasonable efforts to fulfill our commitments. Because promise-keeping is such an important aspect of trustworthiness, it is important to:
Avoid bad-faith excuses. Interpret your promises fairly and honestly. Don’t try to rationalize noncompliance.
Avoid unwise commitments. Before making a promise consider carefully whether you are willing and likely to keep it. Think about unknown or future events that could make it difficult, undesirable or impossible. Sometimes, all we can promise is to do our best.
Avoid unclear commitments. Be sure that, when you make a promise, the other person understands what you are committing to do.

d.Loyalty
Some relationships — husband-wife, employer-employee, citizen-country — create an expectation of allegiance, fidelity and devotion. Loyalty is a responsibility to promote the interests of certain people, organizations or affiliations. This duty goes beyond the normal obligation we all share to care for others.

2.Respect
Treat others with respect; follow the Golden Rule • Be tolerant of differences • Use good manners, not bad language • Be considerate of the feelings of others • Don’t threaten, hit or hurt anyone • Deal peacefully with anger, insults and disagreements
The Golden Rule — do unto others as you would have them do unto you — nicely illustrates the Pillar of respect. Respect prohibits violence, humiliation, manipulation and exploitation. It reflects notions such as civility, courtesy, decency, dignity, autonomy, tolerance and acceptance.
Civility, Courtesy and Decency
A respectful person is an attentive listener, although his patience with the boorish need not be endless (respect works both ways). Nevertheless, the respectful person treats others with consideration, and doesn’t resort to intimidation, coercion or violence except in extraordinary and limited situations to defend others, teach discipline, maintain order or achieve social justice. Punishment is used in moderation and only to advance important social goals and purposes.
Dignity and Autonomy
People need to make informed decisions about their own lives. Don’t withhold the information they need to do so. Allow all individuals, including maturing children, to have a say in the decisions that affect them.
Tolerance and Acceptance
Accept individual differences and beliefs without prejudice. Judge others only on their character, abilities and conduct.

3.Responsibility
Do what you are supposed to do • Persevere: keep on trying! • Always do your best • Use self-control • Be self-disciplined • Think before you act — consider the consequences • Be accountable for your choices
Life is full of choices. Being responsible means being in charge of our choices and, thus, our lives. It means being accountable for what we do and who we are. It also means recognizing that our actions matter and we are morally on the hook for the consequences. Our capacity to reason and our freedom to choose make us morally autonomous and, therefore, answerable for whether we honor or degrade the ethical principles that give life meaning and purpose.
Ethical people show responsibility by being accountable, pursuing excellence and exercising self-restraint. They exhibit the ability to respond to expectations.
4.Fairness
Play by the rules • Take turns and share • Be open-minded; listen to others • Don’t take advantage of others • Don’t blame others carelessly.
What is fairness? Most would agree it involves issues of equality, impartiality, proportionality, openness and due process. Most would agree that it is unfair to handle similar matters inconsistently. Most would agree that it is unfair to impose punishment that is not commensurate with the offense. The basic concept seems simple, even intuitive, yet applying it in daily life can be surprisingly difficult. Fairness is another tricky concept, probably more subject to legitimate debate and interpretation than any other ethical value. Disagreeing parties tend to maintain that there is only one fair position (their own, naturally). But essentially fairness implies adherence to a balanced standard of justice without relevance to one’s own feelings or inclinations.

5.Caring
Be kind • Be compassionate and show you care • Express gratitude • Forgive others • Help people in need.
It is easier to love "humanity" than to love people. People who consider themselves ethical and yet lack a caring attitude toward individuals tend to treat others as instruments of their will. They rarely feel an obligation to be honest, loyal, fair or respectful except insofar as it is prudent for them to do so, a disposition which itself hints at duplicity and a lack of integrity. A person who really cares feels an emotional response to both the pain and pleasure of others.

6.Citizenship
Do your share to make your school and community better • Cooperate • Get involved in community affairs • Stay informed; vote • Be a good neighbor • Obey laws and rules • Respect authority.

I think if we promote the adherence to the pillars or principle in Pakistan , we would be showing our proactive role in nation building.We must adopt an inside out approach---that means starting from own self.

MOTIVATE YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS

Six Success Secrets :Major(R)Khalid Nasr
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The following are the six success secrets that can easily motivate you to achieve success in any aspect of your business, career, and life:

1. Motivate Yourself to See Opportunities in Every Challenge : Many times in life, we are thrown bricks and complain and miss the opportunity it presents to us. The person who can find solutions in the challenges they are faced with can write their own ticket for success. When you take on a challenge, it’s preparing you for an opportunity in the future. You may not know when the opportunity is coming, how it is coming, or what the opportunity will look like, but it is coming; and will you be prepared? Embrace your challenges so you will be prepared.

2. Motivate Yourself to See That It’s Normal to Experience a Little Pain :Think of some situation at work, in business, or in life that was painful. Your pain may be an embarrassing moment, it may be a learning experience, and it may be a setback. How can you use this setback to motivate you to become more successful? We achieve success in our businesses, careers, and life when we develop the success tools of using our “pains” as a learning experience and a springboard to success.

3. Motivate Yourself to Take on Unpopular Tasks : Volunteer yourself for un popular tasks. This will allow people of influence to see your special skills and offer you opportunities for success. It is what I always say, “It’s not what you know, it’s not who you know, it’s who knows what you know.” When you volunteer to catch those bricks, you allow others to now know and see the special skills and talent you exhibit.

4. Motivate Yourself To Take Action : Just the simple act of taking action will make you more successful than 98% of other people. Many times people are waiting for “just the right moment” or “more resources.” Motivate yourself to take action where you are at today and make the appropriate corrections as needed.

5. Motivate Yourself to Go the Extra Mile :What are you doing to go the extra mile? Do you have a continuous learning program in place? Do you give of yourself to make your employees better? Do you give your clients something extra to show appreciation of their business? These are all opportunities to put you above the rest and to succeed in your business, in your career, and in your life.

6. Motivate Yourself to Create a Masterpiece :Are you motivated and ready to create a masterpiece? Do you have a vision of what your business, career, or life masterpiece looks, feels, or sounds like? Are you willing to sustain the quality effort, attitude, and determination to create your masterpiece? What are you willing to give up in order to achieve your masterpiece? Until you are ready to answer these questions, you can’t lay the foundation forachieving your masterpiece.
After you answer the above questions, create S-M-A-R-T-E-R goals as your roadmap for success. If it’s not on paper, your goals don’t exist. Be motivated to create, write, and act on your goals.
Follow these six success secrets and you, too, will be motivated to lay the
foundation for your success.

POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Power Of Forgiveness : Major(R)Khalid Nasr


Power of forgiveness is knowing that we are capable of handling the same situation if it arises again. People who forgive are people who know they will be able to handle the situation appropriately if it arises again.
It no longer is the other person, but rather - for having permitted the transgressions to continue - it sadly becomes themselves.
Thus self-forgiveness is what truly becomes the first and most necessary spiritual act.

Forgivness is unresisting,we require it as oxygen to our sole please take a lung full and exhale away any resistance you have to the man.
The act of forgiving someone is not for their benefit, but for our own. When you look at it from a "selfish" standpoint, it becomes easier to do. For when you truly forgive others, you are freeing your heart from resentments that are taking up precious space in your soul, where love of self and of others could be residing.
When you forgive, remember it is not for them, but it is for you.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger Management : Major (R)Khalid Nasr
Anger management plan is useful for those who have a tough time controlling their anger. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
1.Ask yourself: 'Is my anger necessary enough and is the issue worth it?' Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.
'What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?' If someone cut in front of you at the bookstore checkout, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
'Is it going to help me or others in any way?' The anger is going to affect you physically as well as your relationship with others who get affected by the anger.
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too, sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
2.Ask yourself: 'Did that person do this to me on purpose?' In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
Try counting to 10 before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimise the damage you will do while angry.
Try some 'new and improved' variations of counting to 10. For instance, try counting to 10 with a deep slow breath in between each number. Deep breathing helps people relax.
3.Ask yourself about the anger-inducing issue/situation/event: Is there any alternate way to look at it? You may be looking from an angle that makes you feel angry about the situation. If you look at it from some other angle you may be able to understand or you won't get angry at all.
Visualise a relaxing experience: Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
Techniques to eliminate worries
Write down what you are worried about. Do your best to carefully think of what you are really worried about. There is said to be only a few dozen or so general fears. No one seems to agree what a 'general' fear is, and if you could overcome your general fears, you could eliminate worry completely. For example, about job demands, about the future, about family or social responsibilities.
Get all the facts related to the problem and don't allow yourself to be misled by any false information and to even more worry.
Analyse the facts. Once you have enough information to help you face the worry, make some sense out of the data. What does it all mean, if anything, at this point?
4.Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. At this point, you can make a more realistic assessment of what the worst-case scenario would be.
Accept the worst. Acceptance is almost always an instant cure for worry. Acceptance, however, is not easy and often takes time. By accepting the worst, you are in a situation where things can only improve.
Improve on the worst. Here is where you consider the law of averages. What are the chances the worst will actually come to pass? Is it really worth worrying about?
Decide what you can do about it. Brainstorm. List everything that comes to mind that you can do about improving the situation. Spend as much time as needed on this part.
Act on the decision. If there is any point to worry, it is about taking action toward making positive changes. From your list of possible actions, decide what you are going to do and take action right away. Do not procrastinate. The longer you let your worries build inside, the more emotional and physical damage you are doing to yourself. It is probable that through this process you will end up eliminating the worry before you complete all the steps.
That is fine. The point of the exercise is to eliminate the worry, not to complete all the steps of the process.

TRUE FAITH

True Faith : Major (R) Khalid Nasr


· It is lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges. Faith in the vital sense of the term is a keyword in every man’s religion. The true faith in actuality is related as above gold. It can bring man what gold is not able to buy. The faith is the central figure in human lives. It brings human beings closer and nearer to God because it contains the secrets of peace, freedom and true fulfillment. Without faith man is an irredeemable failure. True faith creates a new life that fills with meaning and hope. True faith can change the lives of human beings from worse to better. Man has made himself like a rolling stone and hitting upon some other solution for his troubles through progress in culture or technology or medicine. Man’s most serious problem remains intact because the people are faithless. Henry Ohester once wrote, “Enthusiasm is nothing more or less than faith in action”. Keep the faith and relay on God for everything. Don’t go for the worldly pleasures and don’t think that your problems could be solved by the worldly advancement. The best solution to kill the evil from within is the true faith. You can have God’s Blessing with faith, without that you cannot win the game.

NURTURING OUR SOUL

Nurturing Our Soul:Major(R)Khalid Nasr

When I think of nourishing the soul, I think of nurturing the ability to respond positively to life —---the ability to sustain passion for our interests, values, and projects. I believe that the worst of all spiritual defeats is to lose enthusiasm for life’s possibilities.
Every life has its share of setbacks and disappointments -- of tragedy and loss. So the question we all confront, in the face of negatives that may assail us, is: How do we keep our enthusism alive?

Two things, at a minimum, are needed: 1.An ability to appreciate the positives in our life. 2.A commitment to action.

Every day, it’s important to ask and answer these questions:
1.“What’s good in my life?” 2.“What needs to be done?”

The first question keeps us focused on positives; the second keeps us proactive and reminds us that we are responsible for our own happiness and well-being.
Another aspect of focusing on the positive, and thereby nourishing the soul, is to stay focused on the inquiry “What in my life do I most enjoy? What most stimulates me?”

The pleasures that nurture me personally may be as simple as enjoying the view of the city or spending time in the garden, or appreciating a thing of beauty.
In addition, when I think of nurturing the soul, I think of listening to music and reading books . I also think of the act of writing. When I spend time at my computer, writing, I almost invariably experience a tremendous sense of appreciation of how wonderful it is to be alive.Writing takes energy, and it also creates energy.

The key is to pay close attention to which activities make us feel most alive and in love with life -- and then try to spend as much time as possible engaged in those activities.
Even when our life is most difficult, it is important to remember that something within us is keeping us alive -- the life force -- that lifts us, energizes us, pulls us back sometimes from the abyss of despair. True spirituality does not exist without love of life.


If we stay oriented to the two basic questions -- “What’s good in my life?” and “What needs to be done?” -- and strive to respond to those questions appropriately, the predictable result is that we will be happier human beings and get far more of whatever it is that we want in life.
Doing and being, as well as action and stillness, are dependent on one another. Without action, we would cease to exist, and without stillness, we would neither be able to appreciate our existence nor have a foundation from which to act. We need stillness, we need the pure experience of being, in order to fully realize ourselves.
Out of that stillness can come the motivation to act and also the awareness we need to act wisely, not to lose perspective. When being and doing are in harmony, when stillness and action are friends to each other, we create an integrated, satisfied soul. We are then in the best position to truly enjoy and appreciate life and not be destroyed by adversity.

Another aspect of nourishing the soul is the ability to stay focused on the present, to live in the present.The impulse to focus on the future can be quite strong. It’s natural to look ahead.The key to happiness lay in enjoying the process, not just the final result.

Earning your living by doing something you enjoy is one of the very best ways to nourish yourself. But even if you are employed at something that is not your ideal work, it is important to find ways to take as much pleasure in it as possible. Living in the present moment can make ordinary activities more interesting and joyful -- you may be surprised, if you only look at what you will find.
If you try to stay connected with why you are doing what you are doing, for example, then even the parts of your life that aren’t especially exciting can become more meaningful.Once that becomes a conscious purpose, it’s amazing how imaginative one can become.
Life becomes infinitely more interesting.

The importance of living in the present does not deny the value of being concerned with the future. We want to keep in mind our goals, what we’re moving toward, and to see the progression and direction that underlie our activities. We need to be able to plan for the future without sacrificing the present, and enjoy the present without making ourselves oblivious to the future.
Obviously, we cannot control every single aspect of our life. We are not omnipotent. But we do have an enormous degree of responsibility for the shape our life takes. We have many options about how we will respond to events. We are not passive spectators, but active contestants in the drama of our existence. We need to take responsibility for the kind of life we create for ourselves.

FIVE ATTITUDES

Five Attitudes : Major(R)Khalid Nasr : These Five Attitudes are :

1.“I can.”This is the most basic of all attitudes. We simply must choose to believe that we can. In our house we are not allowed to say, “I can’t.” We can say, “I’ll try,” or “I tried and failed,” but not “I can’t.” Telling yourself that you can’t will in effect make it so you can’t. But telling yourself that you can will in effect enable you to achieve much more. Even if you actually only achieve 50% of what you tell yourself you can achieve, you will achieve at least that much more than if you told yourself you couldn’t.
I actually have a standard way of going about getting myself off of the starting block: I simply say if somebody else has, then I can too. And if many others have, then surely I can too! I have to be smarter than at least one of those who has already done it. I have to be able to work harder than at least one other. There has to be at least one other person who has come from more difficult circumstances than me. And if they can do it then certainly, “I can!”
2.“I will be generous.”Another attitude that will make you soar is to be a generous person. The attitude (and discipline) of generosity increases your likelihood of success for two main reasons: One, you are happier about yourself and that puts you in a state of mind that is prepared for successful living. Two, people pay back people who are generous. Generous people receive in kind and that will raise you to levels yet unseen.
3.“I will make a difference in the lives of those around me.”People who soar are generally people who have the attitude of helping other people. Yes, they may do it for monetary gain, but they are others-focused. They want to change the way people live and experience life for the better. They are difference makers all around.
I live in a town that is very affluent. Most of the people I know, work with, and have as friends are very successful in this world. One thing I can say, as almost a universal truth, is that to a person, they are people who are not self-consumed but genuinely care about others and will do what they can to help others. This is what I know to be true about the attitudes of the genuinely successful.
4.“Not much will make me angry.”Whether or not we get angry is a choice of attitude. We determine whether or not we will be angry. I have found that often I will meet with someone who is struggling with achieving something and in many cases I find that they are angry people. They have held onto an attitude that is at its root angry. When we take on an attitude that raise the bar on what will make us angry, we are positioning ourselves to be in a state of mind that is better able to live and work in this world in such a way as to achieve success.
5.“I will look for the good in every situation.”This is basic optimism. Successful people who soar through life are those who are optimistic about life. They see the good, think the best and strive for greatness, believing all the while that they will achieve it because it is possible!
I suppose there are a few other attitudes that would make you achieve all that you dream of, but these are the basics and ones that we would do well to master first.
Where do you see yourself? Do you need an attitude adjustment? Take a look again:
I can.I will be generous.I will make a difference in the lives of those around me.Not much will make me angry.I will look for the good in every situation.

FUNDAMENTALS OF LIFE

Fundamentals of Life : Major(R)Khalid Nasr . Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.· You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.· When everything else is lost, the future still remains.· Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.· The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.· If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.· If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.· Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.· You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.· Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. · Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution. · If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks. · Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it. · If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. · Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything. · There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think. · Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. · All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions. · Change your thoughts and you change your world. · Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning. · There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it. · The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting · Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things. · Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship

THE SECRETS OF HAPPINESS

The Secrets of Happiness
Major(R)Khalid Nasr

We all know that money can’t buy happiness … but many times we act as if we’d be happier with a bit more money. We are conditioned to want to be rich ; we want to earn more money to have a good life.
But none of that will bring us happiness. No matter how much we earn, no matter how much we have in the bank, no matter how nice our clothing or cars or toys, none of it will make us happier. The sad thing is that it could take us decades of pursuing wealth and luxury items before we realize this.

Three Secrets of Happiness
1.Good Relationships: We have a human need to be close, to be intimate, with other human beings. Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make us much more likely to be happy. Action steps: Take time, today, to spend time with your loved ones, to tell them what they mean to you, to listen to them, and develop your relationship with them.
2.Positive thinking: I’m obviously a big proponent of positive thinking as the best way to achieve your goals, but it turns out that it can lead to happiness too. Optimism and self-esteem are some of the best indicators of people who lead happy lives. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a positive outlook on life. Action steps: Make positive thinking a habit. In fact, this should be one of the first habits you develop. Get into the habit of squashing all negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. Instead of “I can’t”------ think “I can”.
3.Flow: It is a state we enter when we are completely focused on the work or task before us. We are so immersed in our task that we lose track of time. Having work and leisure that gets you in this state of flow will almost undoubtedly lead to happiness. People find greatest enjoyment when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge. Action steps: Find work that you’re passionate about. This is an extremely important step. Find hobbies that you’re passionate about. Turn off the TV — this is the opposite of flow — and get outside and do something that truly engages you.

SENIOR ADVISOR

I take the honour of introducing Mr Jamil Zaidi as senior advisor. He being a proactive & positive person would be a source of inspiration for us. He being an expert in psychology would provide us useful insight on positive thinking, self-esteem , self-awareness and motivation.We wish him good health & happiness.

GETTING STARTED ON POSITIVITY

Positivity means being optimistic & realistic while showing acceptance & willingness in one's approach towards life.Positive people always focus on the bright side.Positive people never give in and always accept the challenges of life willingly.Being positive allows people to direct their lives to positive out comes and achieve their heart's desire while enriching the lives of others. Two elements contribute towards a positive society----education & selfless acts , both leads to positive attitude and higher self-esteem.Education is essential for people to be aware of them selves----the foundation stone for happiness & self-awareness.Happiness is contagious when projected onto others----to be happy we have to make others happy. Education has two roles ---it makes for our living and it makes our life. Now it the role of making our life that develops positivity & proactivity in us.Selfless acts enhance our self-esteem.Any one who selflessly does some thing positive feels good about himself. Saying some thing nice to make a person feel good is a positive act.Seeing goodness in people produces positive people.We must develop a positive attitude because it is our attitude that determines our altitude. Every one of us wants to be positive.Thinking & reacting positively is a matter of choice.It is upto us to be positive or negative in our approach towards life's happenings.We are what we think we are. If we think good about our selves, we will be inclined to think good about others around us as well. Nothing is good or bad--it is our thinking that makes it so. It is very important to remind our selves to remain positive & hopeful and spread this feeling around us.To be positive , we must think positive.All our actions are the result of our thoughts. Negative thoughts generate responses.Our self-esteem is the deciding factor of our positivity.Giving enhances our self-esteem.We must try to be on the giving end. If we have nothing to give --we must try forgiving.We must expect less from others and try to give more than is expected from us.It promotes positivity in the society.

WELCOME TO POSITIVE INTERFACE

Positive Interface focuses on the principle of positive thinking.The great nations have a positive attitude arising from self-awareness and proper education.We have join hands to connect positive & proactive people to share their ideas & experiences.